Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The adults are the big ones right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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