I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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