dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry about my life...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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