I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
