My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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