I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
