went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
