If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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