he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
