Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
