I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
