Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
