well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
