my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
