Sponge bath it is.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
