Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize