i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
