Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize