Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
try to milk me bitch
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