i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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