I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
