I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
