i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
