i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
