she looked like the before picture.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
