i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
