i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
