It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
