white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
