I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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