so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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