I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
