My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
