so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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