You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just pee around me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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