theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize