I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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