my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
