i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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