Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Non-Jews are for practice
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
