new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
