Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
