i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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