So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
