i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
