too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
