I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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