Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
is that a dick in a sweater?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
