would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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