I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
