I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sober January is a disaster.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
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"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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