You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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