im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize