there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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