we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize