Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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