Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
