How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
