If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
