I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
