I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
