Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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