She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize