He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
