my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize