Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would ride that face into the sunset
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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