Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
