we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
