What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
