i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
