hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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