Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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