Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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