Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
